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April 4th, 2023In a relationship, hearing someone say “I love you” can provide comfort and reassurance, alleviating insecurities and strengthening the emotional bond between individuals. However, it takes a great deal of vulnerability to express love, so how can these three simple words be anything other than positive?
Love bombing is when someone uses the emotionally charged word “love” to manipulate you. Spotting this manipulation can be more important to your life and mental health than you think.
What is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is when someone showers you with love and affection while secretly concealing their true motives. The term was invented by a professor of psychology at John Jay College named Chitra Raghavan. The concept describes a manipulation tact where someone gains a psychological hold on you through overwhelming displays of affection. They do this by displaying an extreme level of love. The affection in the love-bombing comes in a few forms:
The Signs of Love Bombing:
Over-the-top confession of love: An over-the-top display of love is something that should be paid close attention to, especially if you haven’t known the person for very long.
Constant contact: It is not uncommon for couples to maintain communication throughout the day, but if the communication is so frequent that the conversation feels like something you’re obligated to participate in, this is another sign of love-bombing.
Mushy pet names: Coming up with a pet name that seems over the top like “my queen” “my wife” etc. can be a sign that you’re being love-bombed.
Displaying an unhealthy level of attachment: It is ok for your partner to be attached, but if the attachment is to the point where they make you feel guilty for doing activities apart from them, This can cause you to isolate yourself from your friends and family, making you even more dependent on the relationship.
Why Do People Love Bomb
The Manipulator uses these tactics to get you obsessed with them. Your obsession with this person will make you dependent on the love and affection they are providing for you. That’s why saying “I love you” too fast could be a redflag. It is not uncommon for people involved in manipulative relationships to say that they are unable to leave the relationship because the level of romance they’ve experienced has set the bar too high for any other romantic partner to live up to. For manipulators, getting their victims to feel obsessive love can make them unlikely to leave. Making it easier for them to push their agenda. Love bombing is often the precursor to abuse.
Examples of Love Bombing
One of the clearest examples of love bombing is in catfish scams. Catfish scams (otherwise known as romance scams) are when someone steals someone else’s photos online to catfish people. They then create a relationship with them with the sole intention of stealing their money.
Love bombs are an important part of these scams. Scammers flood victims’ inboxes with good morning texts telling them how perfect they are and how much they need them in their lives. They do this day after day, so when they need something (money in this case) the victim can’t bring themselves to say no. Victims of these scams commonly lose thousands of dollars.
There is a way to find out who you’re really dealing with if you or someone you know is being manipulated online. Go to socialcatfish.com and run a reverse image search on their photos to make sure they are who they claim to be.
