Let's admit it, dating is hard. This is even more true with today's technology now that you can now text, swipe, video chat, email, message, and speed date to your next relationsh… Read More
The coronavirus has been a hard time for many people all throughout the world, especially for those who are single. Those who are trying to find online love to fill the lonely void of social distancing have joined various dating apps in hopes of meeting Mr. or Miss Right. That way after we all go back to normal life, singles can look forward to meeting the person they met on a said dating app. Even seniors who are 55+ can use dating sites, like OurTime, to find the person of their dreams that they can meet after quarantine.
However, the question always boils down to whether or not singles should wait until after the coronavirus to meet their soulmate. Is it really the right decision to rush into a relationship to not end up alone during a pandemic, or should we take our time with our online love to make sure that the person we chose is really who we want in a lifetime partner?
We have interviewed a plethora of dating coaches who have the answers to different questions we may have when it comes to online love during the coronavirus. Here is what they had to say about finding online love during the COVID-19 pandemic.
The Covid-19 pandemic has made online dating a bit slow as people realize that it will be hard for them to meet face to face. There are those who are taking the risk and just meeting while there are those who are observing social distancing.
These are the changes required in observing social distancing while looking for love online:
Taking advantage of virtual meetings.
There is a great boom in the use of apps such as Zoom and Skype that are normally used for business teleconferences. People dating online can also take advantage of these apps and they have been so as to have an online-virtual date. You could even virtually have coffee or pizza together. This kind of dating creates an opportunity to look at someone’s emotions, state of being and enjoy the nice smiles that they may give. It also may show one the sadness that the matches face and therefore attract consolation.
Less emphasis on meeting up for a date.
At this time, it is safer to not meet face to face not just because governments have said it but because the virus has been spreading at a very sporadic rate. There should be more letters written using relevant apps such as WhatsApp and Facebook or any other.
There is the use of pre-recorded video sharing
Matches from online dating apps, such as OurTime or Match.com, can record and share videos of their lives. These could be hobbies or even pass time and how bored they may be and share these with each other. The advantage that video sharing is that, matches can save these for use later on when they are feeling lonely, bored or just sad. Something fun would be good as it would help brighten the mood when they are alone.
Making future plans as COVID-19 will not last forever
There is a lot of positivity in many people that the pandemic will be over soon. In as much as it does not look like it, matches online must believe it true. Therefore, rather than make plans which are short term and for today only, they should make long term goals. These will keep them in contact as they yearn to achieve their goals and also inspire them to play things safe. They both will want to get out of the pandemic soon and see each other face to face. Therefore, online dating must cross from making short term goals to having lengthy dreams for each other.
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There is no dating until this thing goes away. You could try Skype and meet someone over the internet. At least you can see their body language and see them once a week until you can start dating them in public. If you can get 3 or 4 women to talk to you, when the virus goes, you will have dates in person. Also, study my material so you will be prepared to meet them and keep them.
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The great irony of this shut-down is that it pretty much hasn’t changed my recommendations at all. I’ve recommended that women build up trust, rapport, and anticipation with men on their dating site, transition to Gmail, avoid texting and schedule a phone call before ever meeting in person.
This process takes less than a week and screens out men who aren’t serious. The only difference now is that our first (and subsequent) phone dates are taking place on Zoom or FaceTime and not in real life. This is an excellent opportunity to reset how people date in an impersonal swipe and text society.
If you are looking for online love, yet still need to keep your social distance, there will be some changes you will need to make, like not falling into the temptation to see a potential date in-person. The stay-at-home quarantine is not going to last forever.
I know that it’s not going to be easy to not meet up in person, but the reality is that public places aren’t open anyway, and it’s not safe for you to go over to someone’s place especially because you have never met them. First meetings should always be in public whether there is a quarantine or not. Someone can seem like the most innocent person, but you have no idea about their past and what they are capable of.
Normally, people meet online or on an app and then meet in person shortly thereafter, however, another change that daters will need to make is to slow things down and really get to know each other before meeting. A positive aspect of not being able to meet-up right away is that people are going to be forming strong emotional connections before meeting. By taking things slow, you will be able to start off your relationship with a solid foundation so that when you can actually meet in-person, there will be more potential for a long-lasting relationship
If you haven’t been comfortable with FaceTiming or Zooming with a date in the past, I recommend getting out of your comfort zone. If you want to get to know someone during this time, it will be best to not only talk on the phone but also have some FaceTime or Zoom dates. You will be able to flirt and have fun just like you would on an in-person date. Of course, you can flirt on the phone, but the visual aspect makes it as close to an actual date as possible.
Over the past decade, singles took advantage of technology to help find online love with dating sites and apps. Why not take it a step further and let technology help continue the dating process throughout this period of social distancing?
A growing trend I am seeing are Zoom dates, Skype video calls, and FaceTime meetups as first dates. Singles are embracing technology to keep the search for Mr. or Miss Right, while still respecting social distancing guidelines.
Suggesting something like this to a new match not only is socially responsible, but it also demonstrates that you’re flexible and able to roll with whatever life throws your way. Adaptability and flexibility are attractive qualities that you now have a unique opportunity to put on display.
Jason Lee is a dating coach and communications expert with Best Online Dating.
There are three main changes you have to make when finding online love during the coronavirus. The first is a mindset shift, the second is utilizing technology and the third is being creative.
To change your mindset, you have to look at the pros of dating when you can’t see someone in real-life. Dating will take much less time, you can go on three Zoom dates in your living room and never have to put on pants. It’s also much easier to cut the conversation early if you’re not feeling it because you’re not in the middle of an expensive dinner.
Another great thing about dating during this time is that it weeds out the people who are only looking for casual sex. People dating during this time are really looking to find an emotional connection with someone, which can lead to online love.
You also have the chance to connect with busy professionals who make great, high-quality partners but don’t always have time to go on date after date. All the people who are normally too busy to date will be much easier to find.
Of course, during this time, you have to rely on technology to go on dates. This means utilizing zoom or FaceTime for first dates and if you really hit it off, playing online games together such as on House party or even something traditional like “words with friends” can keep things fun and lighthearted so you’re not always forced into one-on-one conversations.
With the pandemic, you can easily switch up the routine and get excited about dating again, especially with dating sites such as OurTime. COVID-19 related icebreakers are funny and relatable, men are ordering women dinner to their home and couples are FaceTiming with a drink in hand.
Lana Otoya is a professional dating coach from Millennialships.com.
Keep swiping, meeting, looking, scrolling. Continue to live your life and look for online love. Once you connect with someone, proceed as normal. Exchange texts/messages, then get on the phone. After a call or two, have a virtual date via Skype or FaceTime. If there’s chemistry, keep the courtship going.
At some point, you’ll decide how/when to meet. Of course, this will take some finesse. Masks and social distancing will be required, but meeting at a park, taking a walk, or sitting at a bench to chat could be romantic and safe.
The only thing that really changes is the physical intimacy, but as I advise all my clients, that can wait. Not being able to have sex will only make things hotter when you eventually can.
Social-distancing has changed the way people approach dating but they can still continue to meet prospective dates through online dating. For starters, people who utilize online dating websites can make connections with prospective matches by utilizing all of the features that the dating platform has to offer.
Every dating site offers different features. However, in my experience reviewing dating sites, almost all of them will offer live chat and sending messages for members to be able to communicate with prospective matches. Other dating sites offer more and include things such as video chat and offer phone services to be able to speak with your match.
Therefore, people utilizing online dating platforms should familiarize themselves with the features that their dating platform offers and find out whether or not it is free to use. If a relationship has developed through messaging or live chatting, and both people wish to take it to the next level they can both meet via video chat and determine whether or not there is chemistry between them this way instead of meeting in person.
If the online dating platform does not offer video chat as a feature they can use outside sources such as Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, WhatsApp, etc. Both people can also get to know each other through these virtual means and start fostering a relationship for the time being until it is safe to meet again.
Stephania Cruz is a relationship expert and an author for DatingPilot, a website dedicated to providing dating tips and accurate dating site reviews.
Improve Mate Selection/Screening Process
Speaking as a dating coach and author I see the COVID-19 quarantine as being a possible opportunity for some people to become better daters. Often times, people decide to meet up too quickly!
Two people swipe right and immediately make plans to see each other. They have yet to establish any real rapport, nor had any verbal conversations, engaged in any flirtatious banter, or shared any laughs.
This type of dating is almost the equivalent of being a salesperson making cold calls door to door. Meeting people too quickly increases the odds of having lots of awkward first dates as well as experiencing dating burnout.
Utilize the dating site/app tools for communicating until you feel comfortable enough to exchange phone numbers and email addresses. Your mate selection/screening process should begin prior to agreeing to exchange personal contact information or go out with anyone. Odds are if you don’t have any chemistry over the phone you’re not likely going to have any chemistry in person.
Saying yes to too many dating opportunities can be a real waste of time as well as expensive if you’re the one who usually pays for dates. It’s not that online dating sucks, too many people suck at online dating!
Have More Video Chats and Verbal Conversations
Don’t get carried away with texting back and forth if you’re serious about getting to know someone. If all of your communication is via text messages you’re essentially nothing more than words, pictures, and emojis to them. There is a huge difference between reading “LOL!” on your phone and actually hearing someone laugh out loud.
You are far more likely to be ghosted when there is no human connection. Texting is a far cry from visual and verbal communication. Having multiple video chats and verbal conversations creates an opportunity to establish a real human connection with someone.
Avoid Becoming Emotionally Invested too Quickly by Engaging with Multiple People
Another very common mistake many online daters make is becoming emotionally invested with someone they barely know. Making false assumptions can lead to heartache in the event you are suddenly ghosted. Keep your options open by engaging with multiple people. It’s important to remember anyone you are communicating with who has an active dating profile is keeping their options open and so should you!
Don’t lull yourself into behaving as if you’re already in an “exclusive relationship” when there has been no discussion or agreements made. If you were seeking a job you wouldn’t stop submitting your resume just because you had a couple of great interviews with one company! Until an offer has been made and accepted both the candidate and the company are within their rights to conduct “interviews” with others.
Ultimately when it comes to finding love whether it’s online or offline several things have to come together. Ideally, you want to choose someone who shares your same values and wants the same things for the relationship. They would naturally agree with you on how to obtain those things and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for each other.
There is no amount of “work” or “communication” which can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want for your union. Compatibility trumps compromise. Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
This quarantine is likely to encourage daters to slow down, eliminate the fear of missing out and make quality a priority over quantity.
We’ve noticed many of our users are choosing to use online dating apps to talk, flirt and send pictures but not actually meet up in person. That’s why more people are turning to virtual dating.
Individuals can use Snapchat to send pictures and FaceTime to talk. They can cook together over video chat or even have cybersex despite the fact there is no actual touching involved. Almost anything you can do with in-person dating, you can also do with virtual dating. Therefore this is a new trend that’s emerging as a result of coronavirus.
Since social distancing and self-isolation are highly encouraged by health experts and lawmakers, more individuals are using dating as a way to emotionally connect with others. We are in a time of loneliness and isolation and therefore using technology to meet others virtually and connect with them on a personal level is the best to stay connected.
Research has shown that lacking human contact can result in anxiety, depression and poor health. Thus, in the crisis that we are in now, socializing and bonding with others is ever important.
Marcus Anwar is the co-founder of the dating website OhMy.ca.
Keep the momentum going with a virtual date – You don’t want to put your love life on hold for weeks and weeks but just talking on the phone can get stale fast. Instead, keep things moving by planning virtual dates.
A few great ideas include:
Make dinner together – Making your respective dinners together at your own homes can be a fun Zoom date. You both have to eat and it can provide a welcome distraction. It’s even more fun if you both prepare the same meal. That way you can go step-by-step together and help each other out!
Watch a comedy special – Just like a comedy show can be a fun date in normal times watching a comedy special together can be a lot of fun. Sync it up so you’re watching at the same time and have a few laughs. It’s a great way to get to know each other’s sense of humor since it can be a great break to life during a pandemic.
Test out that home gym – With gyms shut down around the world we’re all forced to workout at home. This can get old pretty fast but can still be a fun activity to try together with your partner. This can be as simple as going for a run together while still on the phone or actually video chatting while you try out different bodyweight exercises on your floor. Getting to know each other and staying fit at the same time is hard to beat!
Ramp up the volume – There hasn’t been a better time to actually get someone’s attention on an online dating app. With everyone stuck at home, online dating use and engagement has been fantastic. People who didn’t have a lot of luck in the past are doing much better because people actually have the TIME to read their messages and respond. It’s a great time to get noticed!
Start planning ahead more – As the social distancing rules continue we are going to start to see light at the end of the tunnel.. You need to plan ahead if you want to turn your online romance into something real. That means locking down dates as soon as restrictions start to lift. Focus on dates that aren’t around a lot of people (hiking, dinner at your place, etc.) to ensure that your plans don’t get shut down by any changes in social distancing policies.
Being open to the idea of video chatting is the biggest change you should make in your online dating practices. It’s something many singles may not have considered before or been slightly uncomfortable with – but now it’s practically a necessity for most people.
In fact, we are now starting to recommend that our clients take a 4-stage approach to online dating:
Video dating actually makes it far easier to pre-screen for chemistry, since you get a better idea of your match’s real personality. Interacting with someone face to face (albeit virtually) is different than exchanging messages where you can put careful thought into each word. It’s easier to get a true read on someone and determine if there’s enough attraction to warrant meeting them in person.
One of the most important things to do is to change your profile pictures. According to SweetRing, users who have changed or updated their profile pictures in the past 60 days are getting 39..6% more matches than those who haven’t. A lot of the users have changed their pictures from group shots to selfies to show that they are respecting the quarantine.
If you want to have success with zoom dating, get creative when asking your matches to do virtual chats. It is important to have some activities to do when you are on virtual dates. Instead of just talking, engage in some tandem activities – we’ve seen matches on virtual dates ordered random food deliveries for each other or doing virtual workouts together. Watching movies and TV shows together is great, as well. This is a great chance to meet someone with similar interests and see if you could one day survive a quarantine together in real life.
Ricky Su is a dating expert from SweetRing – they’ve seen a huge surge in both users and swipes during the pandemic.
The first step to dating during coronavirus is to spend time getting to know one another through video chats with Zoom, Skype, or FaceTime. Be creative during your video chats by asking lots of questions, learn a new skill together, playing a game together, watching a movie together, etc.
Essentially, move your dating experience to video chats to get to know one another without the risk of coronavirus. Ironically, this could actually lead to much better relationships because it will force budding couples to slow down the courting process and get to know each other more in the beginning, giving them the chance to find online love.
Dr. Wyatt Fisher is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Marriage Counselor in Boulder, CO. He also hosts a marriage podcast.
Dating online is one of the options I considered in the past and it’s not that different during that time and now that we are practicing social distancing due to pandemic. It’s like a natural practice of social distancing when we use dating apps. Time Magazine states that Bumble, a dating app, reported a 93% increase in usage of their new video chat feature after Trump’s declaration of national emergency. This tells us that people follow social distancing through the use of online dating apps.
Here are some online dating practices complying with social distancing:
Don’t meet just yet. The bottom line of dating online is to actually meet the person physically. However, given the current situation, it’s best to just postpone the meet-up and focus more on getting to know each other via video chats or phone calls. It is better not to take the risk of getting the virus especially from people you don’t really know.
Be creative, take advantage of the use of technology. Previously, dating online just meant exchanging messages. Now, even activities that normally require physical togetherness are being done online too. This includes watching a movie simultaneously or eating at the same time in front of the camera.
With all the social distancing measures imposed by the government, online dating is the best way to find someone to love at the moment. I have tried using dating websites and apps online in the past and it has been the most convenient way for me to connect with people ever since, even without the isolation advice by the government right now.
People have been compliant to the measures, as proven by the dating website called The Inner Circle, which have seen a 116% increase in the number of messages sent over the past week. According to CNBC, overall activity is up by 25% on the first Sunday of January or “Dating Sunday” as they call it, and usually the most popular day for online dating.
Here are 2 online dating practices that we can do while being compliant with social distancing:
Video or virtual dates. You should maximize the use of video chat platforms available online to communicate with your online love prospects. Exchanging messages and calls is great but some people find it easier to feel the chemistry between them when they can see each other, whether virtual or online.
Movie night or “Netflix and chill” vibes. Why not? Since you cannot go out to watch movies in the theater, you can be creative by doing a long-distance binge-watching session or movie marathon at the comfort of your own home.
This could be the best time to look for the love of your life! It’s all about finding the silver lining during a very sad time.
Brush up on your flirting skills. Practice your flirting skills via texting. A flirty text is about setting the mood and creating a funny, warm, playful exchange between you and your crush. Your aim is to put a smile on your crush‘s face by being charming and even a bit gutsy and to stand out from the COVID 19 stay at home dating crowd.
Be complementary, ask unpredictable questions, demonstrate empathy and show off who you are in an honest, self-confident way. Using emojis, a personal avatar and GIFs can mirror your body language, mood, and feelings when words fall short.
Embrace the power of technology: Consider having a “face to face” meeting (virtual of course) sooner than later. Power up Zoom, FaceTime, WhatsApp to get together sooner than later, so when real-life meetings are safe you have decided who you really want to meet!
Sign up for multiple dating apps/sites: This is the perfect time to break out of your comfort zone and try sites that you have been procrastinating over. You never know until you try.
Basically, if you’re set on finding online love during the coronavirus its a good idea to meet them online first and build an emotional relationship with them over video chat calls. Then once you get to know them, you can then meet them in person with a strong emotional connection that will then turn into a physical connection once social distancing is over.
It is possible to find online love during the coronavirus online, however, it is also a smart idea to make sure you aren’t talking to a catfish by verifying its them over a video chat. If you suspect that you are talking to a catfish, you can always reverse search any information given to you to make sure that you’re talking to the person you think you’re talking to, and give you a better chance in finding online love.