Skype is a great way to connect with your boyfriend or girlfriend so you can keep in contact and see each other when you are physically apart, but sometimes convincing your other half to get on board with the idea can be difficult.
There may be reasons for them not wanting to Skype such as shyness or embarrassment which of course are totally understandable. People who talk on the Internet are sometimes more prone to revealing parts of themselves than they would be in real life, so it can be scary to reveal how they look as well. However, if you have not yet laid eyes on your boyfriend or girlfriend other than in a text based chat room or on social media, then maybe you should start to push the idea so you can see who it is you are really speaking to. There are many people online who claim to be someone other than who they really are by creating false personas. These individuals are known as catfishes and are very clever with their methods. We know for certain you don’t want to be having a conversation a year or two down the track about how you were catfished
or duped by your online boyfriend or girlfriend; Skyping with them will definitely clear that up.
Here are some suggestions to get them to Skype with you.
- Start with a telephone call. Ask them to chat with you on Skype without the video element so they can get used to the setup of the software and ease some of the pre-video nerves. Some people are just inherently nervous or insecure and it may take a little bit more convincing than usual.
- Send short video messages. If your online boyfriend or girlfriend is struggling with the live conversational aspect, then try recording short messages for each other and sending them via Skype. Have some fun with it. It may even add a fun element to your already established relationship.
- Do something online together other than just chatting. Maybe try watching a TV show online or play an online game together and Skype as you do it. The focus won’t be on each other but on the show or the game. If they know you aren’t just looking at them 100% of the time then it may help.
- Be polite about it. Try asking nicely, letting them know how much it would mean to you – even just for a quick 5 minute conversation initially. If they know all you are asking for is a few minutes of their time and it will be over quickly, then they might just relent.
- Reward them. Maybe they need a little bit of incentive to move outside of their comfort zone. It might just be a box of chocolates or a longer chat than normal, but it might help ease some of their issues if they know there is something in it for them.
- Give them an ultimatum. We don’t recommend you giving an ultimatum the first time you ask them to Skype with you, however, if after a lengthy period of time, they can’t or won’t do it, then you have to make a judgement call. Tell them that if they don’t respect your needs, despite their hang ups or excuses, then you just can’t see how you can make it work. It’s about trust, after all. If you can’t trust them to show themselves, how can you trust them with your thoughts and secrets?
Long distance relationships are difficult enough without both of you disagreeing on an important communication issue. If you can convince your boyfriend or girlfriend to Skype with you, it can enhance the quality of your relationship by leaps and bounds.
If they still won’t Skype, there might be something going on and it may be time to look them up and verify that they’re really who they say they are. Here’s to a great relationship!
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