When you’re on dating apps, do you find yourself skimming through your photos and only choosing the best? Maybe it’s one where it has just the right filters that really bring out the eyes, or maybe one has a Snapchat dog filter that covers up that zit you’re dying to hide. Maybe you lie and say that you’re a few years younger or that you’re a different height than you really are on your profile to get more people to want to go out with you. Or maybe you exaggerate what you do for a living to make it seem like you make a higher income than you really do.
All of these white lies and photo cover-ups are actually a minor form of catfishing. This is called kittenfishing, coined by the dating app Hinge, where someone tells white lies or posts exaggerated photos on their dating profiles in order to reel in their potential dates. Unlike catfishing, where you pretend to be someone you’re not; kittenfishing is where you are still yourself but some of the information you presented about yourself is false.
Almost everyone who has online dated before has been both a victim and guilty of kittenfishing. I’ll admit… when I did have a Tinder profile, I did have pictures with Snapchat filters and also pictures with my friends to show that I was outgoing, but really I’m kind of shy. These are just a few examples most people do lightheartedly, not knowing that there’s an issue with their dating profiles. However, if you give your date enough false information about yourself, it might drive them away.
How to Know You are Guilty of Kittenfishing
You Use an Outdated or Overly Edited Picture of Yourself
If you are using a picture with a bunch of Snapchat or Instagram filters or one of you in a swimsuit from 5 years ago as your dating profile picture, you might want to choose different a different photo. While these photos of you may be cute, they take away from who you really are so that people who want to date don’t know what you really look like. For example, if you’ve gained a bit of weight since the swimsuit picture 5 years ago, you don’t want that to be the first thing your date notices. You should be as real as possible so that way your date isn’t surprised when they see you in person.
When people post pictures on their dating profiles with fun filters or a trip from a few years ago, most don’t know they are misleading their dates and just figure they are making themselves look better. However, by doing this you are showing your partner the good parts of your physical appearance versus any flaws we might have. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have physical flaws and things we aren’t proud of, but someone who cares about you will overlook that and think you’re beautiful or handsome regardless.
You Lie About Your Age, Weight, or Height
Whether you tell your date you’re a few years younger, or that you weigh less and are taller than you are, you are deceiving your potential partner. A relationship is usually built on trust and people being honest with one another, but you don’t seem very trustworthy if you lie about something as simple as your age, weight, or height and your partner finds out you’re kittenfishing them.
Let’s be real, once the relationship becomes more serious your partner will find out the truth about how old you are, and just by looking at you they can already guess the ballpark of how much you weigh or how tall or short you are. Therefore, we should always be truthful about all three of these things so that potential dates can make an educated decision on whether or not they want to date you. If they want to date you based on the truth, then that’s great! If not, keep looking because those who care about you won’t judge you based on these things.
You Lie About Your Career
If you tell your date you are working this amazing career making lots of money, when you know you don’t, you will definitely drive them away. It is always important to be honest about where you work and how much you make because they will find out sooner or later what your career is once you become more serious. They will also be able to sense the inconsistencies in your stories and how you can’t give a lot of details when you talk about your fake career.
If you’re not impressed with the career you do and don’t know how to tell your partner, perhaps tell them the truth anyway but throw in what your aspirations truly are for the future. For example, if you’re just working at a retail store or as a waitress to pay bills while saving up for college, tell your partner that. Or if that is your career, tell them that you’re proud of what you do and that you like what you’re doing for a living. If you put a positive tone on the career you’re doing, people will see that as more attractive than lying about what you do for a living. Plus you’re more likely to have a future with that person.
You Lie About What Your Hobbies and Interests Are
Hobbies and Interests are what connect two people together to form a stronger relationship. In order to date someone, it is important to have similar interests and hobbies with one another so that you have something to do and talk about together. If you lie about your hobbies and interests to your partner, they will have misinformation and talk about the thing you said you were interested in, but in reality, you have no idea what they are talking about.
Instead of lying and saying how much you love certain movies, television shows, and celebrities that they like, it is always important to tell the truth. Your partner won’t care that you don’t like or know every little thing that they know. In fact, it is also important to have some differences so that you guys can have some individuality in the relationship. Plus if your partner is interested in a show that you’ve never heard of, it gives them the opportunity to watch that television show with you. Therefore, it is always a good idea to be honest about your interests and hobbies so that way you can find someone compatible with you, and your partner can show you what you’re interested in. This also gives you the opportunity to form new interests with them.
What If You Can’t Tell You’re Kittenfishing?
Ask yourself these questions:
- Are there any differences between online you and real you?
- How many white lies have you told your date, and how serious was the lie?
- Would this person describe you as you have described yourself?
- Would your close friend and partner say the same things about you?
How to Tell You’re Being Kittenfished
- If they tell inconsistent stories that don’t add up about their day or career.
- If you ask for details about what they do for a living and they can’t give you any, or the details don’t make sense.
- If the photos of the person show no flaws, and they look too good to be true.
- If they look older than they say they are.
- If their height and weight doesn’t match what they told you.
Next time you make a dating profile, make sure you are not doing anything to kittenfishing potential dates. Whoever is considering dating you wants to get to know the real you and at the end of the day sugar coating who we really are as people makes it misleading for people to tell if they are compatible with you or not. We should always be truthful with any potential matches, and at the end of the day if they really like you they will accept who you truly are as a person.