Dating websites are an excellent place to meet a potential match. Regardless of your reason for online dating, there might also be times when you want to do an eHarmony search for … Read More
This situation comes up more often than you’d think. Usually, you’re dating someone or married and suspect your partner might be using dating sites recreationally to meet up with other people. Often, you’re new to dating each other and unsure of your status. You might be too embarrassed to ask if they still have a dating profile and want to research on your own.
At Social Catfish we have simplified the process and can execute a complete background check to find out the who, what, and why of your love interest in a quick, user-friendly way. This saves time and provides more trustworthy results.
However, should you want to be your private investigator, pour yourself a glass of wine, settle into the couch and try the following:
Tip #1: Email Search
You’ll have to do your research to determine if this is legal or advisable where you live. If you’re willing to risk it, enter your partner’s email address into the login-box on the dating site you suspect they’re using. Look for an error message, like “wrong password,” etc., which will confirm they do have an account. Another possibility is to use the “forgot password” option. While some sites won’t tell you whether that email address is affiliated with an account, many wills.
The drawback is that it won’t usually tell you if someone has a current account or not. Often, people have deactivated their accounts while they pursue a new relationship but haven’t deleted it entirely. This isn’t always intentional, as dating sites make it harder to remove accounts than deactivate. Therefore, this strategy works better for married people, who want to rule out or confirm any dating site activity. Beware that your partner will likely see a ‘reset’ password email in their inbox and might rightly suspect your involvement!
Tip # 2: Create an Account Yourself
You can create an account to spy on your partner and look for potential or ongoing infidelity. You can use your name or a false persona. This sometimes backfires when the person you’re checking up on isn’t doing anything and instead finds out about your dating site or accuses you of cheating on them! You might also find yourself being tempted by others on the site.
It’s easy for a jealous lover to become a catfish with a fake profile. Creating a fake profile is often restricted legally. If you do go this route, create your profile, do a search of your partner’s general age and criteria, and then if you don’t find them on the site, delete (not deactivate) your account immediately!
Tip #3: Phone Thief
No, don’t steal their phone as that is sure to backfire and start a fight. Instead, borrow their phone to make a quick “phone call.” Familiarize yourself in advance with how to search Apps on their particular brand of phone. Frequently used apps can often be accessed on the lock screen (on an iPhone by swiping down). Look for alerts from popular dating sites like Tinder, or Adult Friend Finder, etc.
Tip #4: Act as If You Know
If you’re 99.9% convinced that your partner is on dating sites but lack concrete proof, confront them as though you already have the confirmation you need. Say something to the effect of, “My friend saw you on a dating site! I know you’re on there, why would you do this to me!” Look for their reaction and trust your gut.
It’s much better to do this in person, rather than by phone or text, so you can better gauge their response. Beware that even if you are right, cheaters are notorious for lying through their teeth to conceal their behavior. Be confident you’re right on the money before you attempt this, and be willing to pay the price should your assumption be incorrect.
Tip #5: Computer Access
Most of the time someone who is hiding their dating site use will be a pro at deleting their computer history. Instead, look through their saved password list on their computer (also research how to do this in advance, for instance, “keychain” on an Apple based computer). Look for passwords to any dating sites saved on their computer.
Tip #6: Junk Mail
While everyone gets random, odd junk mail or spam in their inbox, someone who is frequently registering with dating sites through their email address will have more of such mailing. Search their trash mail or look for patterns. This isn’t concrete proof but might substantiate your case.
Tip #7: Authenticity
If you find that you don’t have proof, but don’t feel satisfied trusting your partner, it may be time to look more deeply into your relationship. What is it about them, You, your connection, or their behavior which is causing you to feel such a lack of trust? It could be that the lack of confidence alone means it’s time for you to reevaluate your relationship, have a heart to heart discussion, try couple’s therapy, or move on!
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