8 Steps to Avoid Cyber Stalkers

What is a Stalker?

If hearing the term “stalker” makes you think of a television movie or a creepy film at the box office, you’re lucky. Though stalkers should and mostly are a rare experience in people’s lives, having a stalker or someone close to you affected by one is more common now than ever.

Stalkers can be online, in person, or a combination of both. It can be someone you know well, used to date or be friends with, or even someone you have never met or who only knows you through your online persona.

Has the Internet Made Stalking Worse?

Stalkers have always existed, within reason. The internet has simply made it easier for people to watch others from afar, harder to track and recognize, and blurred the lines of what is or is not stalking. The reality is that “stalking-lite” is something that most everyone indulges into a lesser degree. It is easiest to first think of one’s own behaviors: Have you or someone you know ever driven past an ex’s house or gone to a coffee shop they used to frequent, hoping to see them? While that doesn’t make you a stalker, it gives you an idea of how it can happen to or from almost anyone.

While that doesn’t make you a stalker, it gives you an idea of how it can happen to or from almost anyone. What about online? Have you ever browsed the social media page of someone you don’t like that much or don’t even know, or looked at LinkedIn or other sites to gain information about a former or current love interest? Do you know details, from a person’s Facebook or Instagram posts, that you wouldn’t normally, based on the closeness or distance of your interaction with that person? Those are the ways in which the Internet has revolutionized the information we know and share about ourselves and others.

When Should You Take Action:

While you don’t want to live your life being a paranoid person, the best time to take action against stalkers is BEFORE you have one. This means that everyone should regularly patrol their privacy settings online and use reverse searching to see what platforms they still show up on. You should always be aware of your surroundings and consider taking a self-defense class.

These are the specific steps you should take:

1. Safeguard ALL Social Media Accounts:

Not only the ones you enjoy, ALL OF THEM. Stalkers ‘get off’ and titillated by any and all information that is online. They might take information from different platforms to gain an idea of your interest, location, vacations and more. Let’s say you post a beach photo and say you’re enjoying the water, they will know you aren’t home or maybe recognize where you are. They might find out your work location and habits without you intending them to.

2. Block Them:

Ironically some people are afraid to block their stalkers as they feel afraid they won’t know if their stalker is reaching out and what they’re saying. Resist that tendency. Tell them to stop contacting you, if appropriate. Block their texts, phone calls, emails, social media accounts and avoid adding anyone new for the time being. Often a blocked stalker will set up a fake account to ‘catfish’ you into adding them.

3. Use Google And Professional Searches On SocialCatfish.com:

Searching one’s own email account addresses is a first and effective step. See what shows up by searching your email address alone. Search your own name, and delete or secure the results through your accounts. Reverse search photos and find the social media platforms you have created. Often old accounts are forgotten. Find them and delete the ones you no longer use.

4. Don’t Assume Stalkers Are Known Enemies Or Strangers:

Limiting Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat views to specific people and friends can be helpful. However, the acquaintances we have could also be a problem. Jealous friends or former friends can track us and send hate mail. Jilted or dumped lovers can get angry or threatening. Know that telling mutual friends of your potential or know stalker details about yourself may also put you at risk of more harassment or trouble.

Limiting Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat views to specific people and friends is helpful. However, the acquaintances we have could also be a problem. Jealous friends or former friends can track us and send hate mail. Jilted or dumped lovers can get angry or threatening. Know that telling mutual friends of your potential or know stalker details about yourself may also put you at risk of more harassment or trouble.

5. Tell Someone:

Immediately tell a family member or trusted friend. If you feel your stalker has crossed a legal line, is threatening, or you aren’t sure, consult with the police immediately. Local police have a difficult time with stalking as unless stalkers are specifically threatening, they might feel there is no crime. Another problem is that a Federal subpoena is required for most email tracking from potential perpetrators. If you have circumstantial evidence, police might be wary of following up. Laws are changing, regarding stalking and internet stalking. Be assertive and follow up. If those options fall flat, talk to an attorney about a civil case to see if your stalker has libel against you, etc.

6. Secure Your Home & Vehicle:

Just as you manage and secure your online accounts, secure yourself at your home, work, and your vehicle. You have locks, use them. Consider investing in an alarm or a deadbolt, even on sliding glass doors. Think of securing your home as making you more secure, not to make you feel more worried.

7. Save Evidence:

If you have a stalker, immediately save anything they send you, back up copies, keep notes of their behavior, and forward copies to someone trusted and/ or give to your attorney or the police. Note taking and emails or written messages to you may come in handy later.

8. Be Proactive:

The more proactive you are, the more likely your story will end with a good result. Don’t be afraid to advertise that you’ve alerted the police (unless it will hinder their investigation, or may you unsafe per the details of your specific situation). Many garden variety stalkers don’t really want legal ramifications and once you block them, set a firm boundary, and consult the police, they will back off.