Let’s admit it, dating is hard. This is even more true with today’s technology now that you can now text, swipe, video chat, email, message and speed date to your next relationship. But, how do you master all of these forms of communication and give yourself the best odds of finding your soul mate? In many instances, you only have one shot to make your best first impression or your potential mate is on to the next profile. So, with this in mind, we scoured the internet to find the some of the top dating experts and asked them for their best dating advice. Here is the advice that they gave us.
Don’t talk before the date!
A few emails or flirty texts here and there to solidify plans are fine, but constantly talking to someone before you’ve even met them in person is tricky. You can never truly know how you feel about someone until you meet them face to face, and so much can be misconstrued via phone calls or texts. You also run the risk of developing feelings for someone you’ve never met, only to be disappointed when the chemistry you had over the phone doesn’t translate in real life. If you’re really interested in someone online, log off and get face to face as soon as possible!
“The best thing about online dating is the opportunity it presents you to meet new people. Nothing else gives you access to so many other singles also looking for love. That said, when you do online dating you are given a completely blank slate for daters to get to know you. It is all completely up to you the impression that you make; whether it’s good, bad or indifferent, you have the control… and every single individual can use online dating to make a great impression. The key is to try your best, and then if it isn’t going how you hoped, you can change your approach until you find the way that works, that could mean changing your written profile, your pictures, how you communicate, or even who you respond to. So that is my single greatest advice: if you’re online dating, try stuff out and don’t be afraid to change how you online date.”
My number one dating tip would be to know what your needs are and to screen for and discuss those needs very early on when a person starts dating. So many people try to cast a wide net when dating and try not to rock the boat by saying something the other person may not like, even if it’s an important need. So instead of attracting the type of person that is right for you based on the needs you have discussed, you end up dating someone that isn’t a good match. For example, if you like to go out a lot and socialize and that’s important to you, then voice that. Don’t be afraid to screen someone out that doesn’t like that. If you voice who you really are and what your needs are, you’ll attract what you’re looking for.
Date the “maybes.” There’s probably a reason your ‘type’ hasn’t been working. Self-selecting is challenging, and even more so online because you’re subconsciously comparing each person against the last one you viewed. Those who have the most potential for real, lasting love exist on the fringe of your preferences, just outside of what you typically look for in a match. In fact, most of our clients who are in relationships fell for people they only said “maybe” to! Next time you click on someone and think “maybe,” say “yes!”
If you’re a man, don’t send an initial, generic email with only a few words (Hi or How are you). These are a turn-off. Women want to feel special, and want to know you took the time to look at their profile – not just their photos. Otherwise it seems as if you’re casting a wide net and can’t be bothered to write a few sentences.
If you’re a woman, be willing to date outside your “type”. Many people say they ended up with someone who initially wasn’t what they were looking for. As long as he’s attractive to you and respectful, give him a chance if he contacts you.
Think before you veto… Look for what’s right, vs. what might be wrong with the person who’s interested in you. We only have a shot with the person who thinks we’re hot. The biggest mistake I see single men and women making today in dating is to quickly dismiss an interested suitor, for reasons that are really secondary. If the person who’s interested in you meets your top Top Three Critical Criteria, then say Yes, explore, and see if there might be a fit. Through communication, compromise and negotiation, couples can find solutions for areas of life where they’re not totally in synch, so look for, say Yes to, and approach the candidates who have your Top Three Critical Criteria, and you will instantly see your dating and mating opportunities blossom.
Julie Ferman, Master of Matchmaking
http://www.JulieFerman.com – register privately, for free to be eligible for personal matchmaking referrals throughout the US, Canada and worldwide.
Do you have some advice or tricks that have helped you have success with dating on and offline? Share your tips with us below.
Disclaimer: We are not affiliated with any of these dating experts nor do we get any commissions or referral fees from them. They met our requirements for a top dating expert and were nice enough to contribute some free advice for our readers. We haven’t used their services personally so, can’t endorse their services but, we did have positive interactions with each of these experts and endorse them as good human beings.
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