5 Dating Tips: How To Have A Great First Date

By Jen D., August 14, 2017

Online dating got you down? If online dating teaches anything, it’s that chemistry happens in person. Let’s face it, you can’t spend a month, a year, or forever with every single person you meet. The purpose of dating is to filter down the playing field and find your perfect match. The statistics of attraction mean that the spark you feel with someone you really like just won’t happen with everyone. Though it is common for online daters -in want of a long term relationship, or even a second date- to feel discouraged when their dates fail to live up to expectations, it doesn’t mean you need to be miserable.

Let us show you how to still have a good time with someone you aren’t interested in dating further.

1. Look At Dating As An Adventure:

Yes, maybe you really want the love, support, or relationship your friends or family members have and it hasn’t happened yet. However, desperation is usually a turn off that people can spot a mile a way. It’s important to adopt the philosophy that your life is a collection of adventures and dating is part of that.

Have you ever heard someone tell a story that happened many years before, but it was so funny you laughed until you cried? You’d prefer a positive dating life, but there really is room for the bad dates too.

Your bad date today, might just be motivation for you to work harder in solidifying your future romantic relationships. Online daters frequently swap humorous “war stories” about their prior online or app dating “fails”. The bad date you’re on today might become an excellent story and the reason your soulmate laughs and smiles tomorrow.

Most everyone has had an experience with a Catfish, someone who was drastically different than their profile. You are not alone. Each dating disaster opens up space to go on a date with a person you might actually like. Confide your experience in a close friend and move on, knowing you were brave, fearless, and refused to settle on what you want!

2. Learn What You Don’t Like:

We often have a general idea of what we think we want or like in a partner. Whether based on experience or trial and error, what we “think” we want is powerful. However, dating can help you fine tune your likes and dislikes in a way that theory alone won’t.

People can look great on paper and yet the date can fall flat in person. Not only will you learn what you are NOT looking for in a partner, it will get you closer to what you DO. For example: Perhaps you thought you wanted to date someone who goes to the gym daily, only to find that the 4 hours a day there and wouldn’t leave much time for you.

3. Be Open To Surprise:

Similar to tip #2, in the world of online dating, it’s not uncommon for us to think that a great profile will mean a great date. The lesson often learned is that online photos are not a slam dunk of physical compatibility. People resemble their photos less often than you’d think.

One SocialCatfish dater said it best when he complained that everyone looks like a “supermodel” online and drastically different in person. Whether it is the result of old photos, filters, lighting, professional digital photos, or even a fake profile, the most attractive people online are not always the ones you like in person. That is not to say that people always look different than their photos, but that photos leave out mannerisms,

4. Learn Something New:

Out with a school teacher, contractor, engineer, yoga instructor, etc.? Ask questions and learn about the person. Everyone has insight, life philosophies and experiences you may not. While you might be tempted to end a date early, once the pressure is off being a lasting connection, other elements can lead to fun had by all. Other times, the more you talk and get to know someone, the more interest you have in them.

5. Be Confident YOU:

There is only one of you in the whole world and someone is taking the time to get to know you. Each of us will only go on so many dates in a lifetime. Whether your goal is serious or casual, give each person respect for taking time out of a busy life to meet.

If your confidence or dating persona needs a boost, look at this as practice for future dates. How easily do you open up to people? Are you comfortable with physical gestures on a first date (holding hands, a goodnight kiss). Are some questions hard to answer, for example, when you’re asked about why past relationships ended? Be fabulous you. Don’t worry about being perfect or what the other person wants. Date in a way that leaves you feeling strong, confident, and good about yourself. Let your goal be to have FUN.

While some savvy daters try to limit “bad” dates by first exchanging detailed messages through the dating site or app, talking on the phone or through Skype before meeting, the hurdle of a first date still exists. Though each of those methods can help determine some compatibility, meeting in person gives one a far better idea of whether or not a match is hit or miss. Meeting in person sooner than later also avoids the pitfall of becoming emotionally attached to someone you may or may not click with!

The right person is out there, don’t give up!